This is my real blog as of now. I decided that I've had it. I hate having to write in code because some twobit bitch can't mind her own DAMN BUSINESS!!!!

I am going back to who I am & therefore I have even given links to my old blogs.... You can now get some ancient history on me, if you're interested. Heehee!

I hope you'll all pop in and say HI.

The last time signing this name....

 Maggie <3

Hi everyone,

   I figured I'd update while I wait for Rick to finish watching his show in our bedroom so I can go to sleep. Heehee! Life is going ok for now anyway. I am just trudging along as per usual and trying to stay upbeat and happy.

  I don't a lot to talk about it would seem, as I can't think of a single thing to say. I just want my bestest friend 'Jean' to know that I love her dearly and I hope she has a better week. If you all could send nice thoughts and positive energy out to her I'd appreciate it.

Good night everyone,

  Maggie <3

I think Rick and I are on the way to separate paths. He has spoken perhaps 6 sentences to me since yesterday afternoon. He finally started to talk to me this morning. He's talking about feeling like his "freedom" is being taken. That I'm controlling him. He doesn't want anyone telling him what he can and can't eat. This from yesterday when momma and I were talking about losing weight and getting healthier. He actually said that he should just shut up and be a good little "bill payer".

I don't know what to do. He says that he loves me but he seems to want his "freedom". I'm confused and scared. Momma isn't getting involved per say. She says it has to be my decision to make. It sucks though, because I can see his side and I can of course see my side. I know that momma won't be too upset if he leaves and I believe that he knows that too. I think it's getting too hard for him and he wants out.

He's started scrapping his bong because he wants to get high. When he started doing that last week is when things started to get funny. I noticed a change in him. He's angry and I find that I beginning to get angry too. I'm trying not to be emotional, and for those of you that know me....you know how hard that is!!!

I was feeling so good about myself and the path my life was starting to take and now I feel like it was all an illusion. I need him in my life and I'm terrified that I'm losing him. I also need my momma and she needs me. I just don't know what to do.

He's working right now and he said we'd talk about this later. I wish I knew what to do.......

Maggie <3

Hi everyone,

   I'm sorry for the lack of updates, my scanner isn't workin' right so the "Twisted Whisker" part of our program has been delayed. Sorry! I thought that I'd let you all know how my new year has been shapin' up so far.....

*****

My new year started out kinda slow and sucky. Heehee! We didn't go anywhere, as everyone was in a lousy depressing mood. Me included! I made one new year's resolution which was a big deal because I NEVER make them. My resolution was/is to find my personal spiritual path. The one that's right for me.

So far, it seems that Wicca is the closest to my beliefs, and yet not completely. It's hard trying to find your way spiritually, isn't it? I believe in only ONE God, but I also believe that God is genderless and is in everything. A part of all creation. I feel closer to nature and animals than I have ever felt to humans. I am conflicted but am more at peace now then I was this time last year.

*****

Now, what has been bothering me since last night is this: I was looking for information on Wiccan deities and went to a website that seemed to spill hatred and intolerance towards wiccans. It upset me greatly and now I find that I'm unsure of letting anyone know when and if I decide to follow the wiccan way. The person writing on this website says he's a christian and likes to use sections of the bible to get his points across. That's one of the reasons why I have never liked organized religion for me. Anyone can twist the bible into meaning whatever they want it to mean. I don't believe that is right or fair. I find that trying to find my place in the spiritual world is harder because of people like him and it makes me angry and extremely sad......

Maggie <3

    ^ Yesterday's Whisker.^

^ Ok, this one is just too cute! Dontcha think? ^