I think Rick and I are on the way to separate paths. He has spoken perhaps 6 sentences to me since yesterday afternoon. He finally started to talk to me this morning. He's talking about feeling like his "freedom" is being taken. That I'm controlling him. He doesn't want anyone telling him what he can and can't eat. This from yesterday when momma and I were talking about losing weight and getting healthier. He actually said that he should just shut up and be a good little "bill payer".

I don't know what to do. He says that he loves me but he seems to want his "freedom". I'm confused and scared. Momma isn't getting involved per say. She says it has to be my decision to make. It sucks though, because I can see his side and I can of course see my side. I know that momma won't be too upset if he leaves and I believe that he knows that too. I think it's getting too hard for him and he wants out.

He's started scrapping his bong because he wants to get high. When he started doing that last week is when things started to get funny. I noticed a change in him. He's angry and I find that I beginning to get angry too. I'm trying not to be emotional, and for those of you that know me....you know how hard that is!!!

I was feeling so good about myself and the path my life was starting to take and now I feel like it was all an illusion. I need him in my life and I'm terrified that I'm losing him. I also need my momma and she needs me. I just don't know what to do.

He's working right now and he said we'd talk about this later. I wish I knew what to do.......

Maggie <3